Theo and Tracy get the boulle rolling

"We shall host a highly competitive boulle competition on the lawns of the hotel... We will play according to Marseilles rules on a knock-out basis. In typical French style we shall serve pastis or bubbly to all players. And spectators. And their maatjies." - Theo Nel and Tracy Goosen.

"What happens if I don't contribute to Show 'n Tell?"

Matjies Show 'n Tell 2010

Words by Toast Coetzer

Matjies Show ‘n Tell – 23 to 26 September 2010

Many people are confused when they see ‘Matjies Show ‘n Tell’ written as an email subject line. How should they know that Matjies, which is short for Matjiesfontein, is a place where maatjies meet for one weekend a year in order to show and tell like it’s nobody’s business? Even those maatjies who have been to Matjies before don’t always know their matjie from their maatjie, because you see the one is a small reed mat of sorts, the reeds growing in little streams such as the one at Matjiesfontein, hence the name, and the other one with two “a’s” being a maatjie, primary school Afrikaans for your buddy, your pal, your tjommie, your friend. What kind? The nice kind.

This year is the 5th Show ‘n Tell already! If you’ve missed out before, make sure you start thinking about what your contribution is going to be this time round. Keep one eye on your in-box and the other on the blog to find out when bookings officially open. Because this year is a long weekend we thought we should give everyone extra time to come up with a contribution and figure out their matjies from their maatjies so bookings will open in July.

Remember, the town can only take 100 guests, so when bookings do open the first 100 people to email us with their contribution idea and book their accommodation will constitute this year’s sum total of Show ‘n Tellers. In the meantime, don’t be shy.... email us with your contribution ideas or better yet, post them on the blog. Yes, it’s your blog too.

There are only two conditions to attending this event. No, make that three.

1.You have to book accommodation as it’s a three-day event and there are no other places to sleep in the vicinity except really cold, dark culverts. You can only book accommodation if you stipulate what you’re planning to contribute to the weekend.
2. You have to contribute, i.e. you have to bring some entertainment along. This is a show where you are the show. Some play guitar, others organize spoon and egg races, some bring interesting DVDs to screen, there are magic shows sometimes, also interpretive dance is even allowed, also we don’t frown upon poets reading their work out loud, even making a cartwheel grandly across the lawns can count as your contribution. A mini-cricket exhibition match, anyone? Everyone participates, everyone watches. You don’t have to be a pro at whatever you tackle – even better if you’re not. Guitarists are welcome to attempt the sax, poets are welcome to attempt fast bowling…Are you a closet pole-vaulter? Are you an illustrator but secretly you’ve always wanted to strum the ukulele? Now’s your chance.
3. You’ve got to be in it for the fun. No-one gets paid to perform so logistics and costs of your contribution are all up to you. Collaboration is the name of the game. Get five friends together and stage a play or whatnot.

That really is that. And don’t let us catch anyone confusing their maatjies with their matjies again. Sure, you can have a Matjies-maatjie, even Matjies-maatjies if you’re the popular kind, even Matjies-maters (maters are bigger maatjies than small maatjies) but you can’t hang out with your matjies unless you mean the reed mats and reed mats are no good conversation and thus not ayoba at all. You’ve gotta hang out with your maatjies. That’s rightly ayoba.

Don't be a sucker...

... put Matjies 2010 into your diary right now! 23 - 26 September. It's a long weekend - oh yes.

***start dreaming***

Which room in the glorious Lord Milner Hotel will be yours? Bookings only open later in the year but it's time to start dreaming up your magical contributions....